Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
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