shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
