Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize