He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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