i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
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I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
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I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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