does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
