1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Randomize
