Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
