It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
