How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
