Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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