o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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