there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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