ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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