I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Green mimosas i think yes
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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