two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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