and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Green mimosas i think yes
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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