So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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