When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
