i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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