hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
