Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
