Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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