Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
