I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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