I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
