I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
