It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I didn't shave. On purpose
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
