Non-Jews are for practice
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
