I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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