i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I did not marry a roomba.
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