Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
