Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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