I am puke
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
