I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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