rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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