i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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