You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
