Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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