what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
