nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
