Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
