so that wasnt chicken after all
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
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you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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