It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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