I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
