i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
