this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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