She announced her abortion via fbk
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
