You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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