my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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