I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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