Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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