Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
