It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My vagina is officially offended.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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