Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
