I love black thongs
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
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Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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