And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She even gives head with a lisp.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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