you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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