This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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